Ho’Oponopono – A Journey Into Personal Freedom

Understanding -> Acceptance -> Forgiveness -> Freedom.For many of us, our pain is our identity. Our past is painful, but it becomes hard for us to let go. It almost seems like who would you be, with no past, right? A past of meaningless hurt, resentment, undesirable habits, frustrations, anger and guilt.When I tell a person, let us have an expiration date of this grudge you are bearing on your mother, they smile. Some say “You’re right!” Others say “It is easier said than done.” And I respond to both of them “Yes!”. For in the end it is all a choice, a decision we are making “in the moment”. To stop grudging, or to continue with it. At times we cannot imagine what to do with our life, if we can’t complain.I just mentioned about “in the moment”. It has become a cliche’ these days. Everyone speaks of it, or has heard but for most of us, it is just an experience in its completeness, with no distractions. What happens after the moment? We return to either living in the past or the future. Resentment from the past and anxiety about the future crowd our lives. We function with less than 100% efficiency. The processor within us is multi-tasking. While at work, we worry about our kids, while with kids we plan out the menu, while planning the menu we are concerned about the debt collector on the phone and so on and so forth. In the midst of it all we sigh over the love we believe we give with little to no returns. No one ever feels they are loved enough while in a relation. When the relation is a memory of the past, we have flash backs of good times we had experienced. In those moments, do you feel grateful for the experience, or remorse for the loss?Understanding why a relationship ends, why you got fired from your last job, why your boss is a scum bag, your mother-in-law a bitch, or your child could have better grades or your head hurts or tummy aches, or even your boy friend has not been returning your last call or text or you got a traffic ticket while everyone else seemed to be zooming at 80mph is the first step in your journey towards personal freedom. This freedom isn’t being debt-free, or never having to do the laundry or go to work or have to deal with a whiny partner, unsatisfiable boss or a grumpy in-law or a demanding child.Personal freedom means experiencing equanimity while dealing with debts, divorces, diseases, dilemmas and decisions.Understanding why there is pain and suffering, and learning how to live through the pain without the suffering is an integral part of the journey. Usually when I mention pain, people tell me “I have no pain, Keya. there is no pain.” This is the most common response I receive. I tell “Of course there is no physical pain…” Immediately you hear them exhale over the phone or see their pupils dilate as they exhale and say “O you mean, emotional pain.”
Pain isn’t a pure physical experience. Any experience if it does not give us pure joy or a feeling of completeness, has an ounce or more of pain associated with it. Pain lets us know we are human and still alive. When there is no joy, there is no flow in our bio-energy or even our emotions. This is an emotional stagnation or blockage, which when left unresolved over time, creates bodily suffering, and imbalance in various aspects of our lives.When our body speaks, or we feel something is not right, instead of dismissing it with an emotion or escape by blaming someone else, or reaching for the wine, smoke or road rage, it is always wiser to first accept that something is wrong, within yourself. Denial is the first stage of loss, we hurt to admit that something is wrong. Religions have forever preached forgiveness without teaching why to forgive, what is forgiveness, how to forgive and what if we decide not to forgive.My guru Paramahamsa Prajnananda Giri says that “when you forgive once, where is the question to forgive again?” Once we forgive someone we release them forever. If after you have forgiven you still feel hurt, then you must turn around and forgive yourself. My teacher Dr Matthew James taught me the ancient hawaiian practice of Ho’oponopono, which literally means “to make right again and again”. I work with my clients one-on-one and take them through this journey and it is always fulfilling. But before we begin this journey, they are made to understand why things have been the way they are.”Everything begins with a thought”, my mentor Cheryl O’Neil always says so. In NLP we learn “Perception is projection.” As we perceive so we project. Fredrick Lehrman, one of my mentor speaks of “internal dialogues creating our external realities.” This is an ancient wisdom of the east, the Sanatan dharma and Buddhism. So if everything is in your mind, your pain is really a creation of your thought patterns. using Time empowerment techniques® when we have a bird eye view, or a meta-perspective of the event that lead to our suffering, there is immense learning to receive. Besides understanding, we are filled with gratitude for the learnings and released from our suffering. We gain freedom to move ahead in life and not be the “hamster in the wheel” forever in motion and going nowhere.

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